Hi, I'm John.
If you're like me, then you're seeking a partner to befriend, marry, and raise a family with.
I'm a 🇺🇸/🇨🇦 dual citizen, remotely running two US companies with two of my best friends.
After years of travel, I have gone all-in on Indonesia. I am live in Canggu, Bali, focusing on fitness, nutrition, freediving, and friendships.
In this website, you'll find everything about my lifestyle, values, and expectations.
So, without further ado, take a deep breath...😮...😐...😮💨...
Further Ado...Here is a playlist to set the mood while you're exploring the rest of this site.
So, girl, put your records on. Play some of my favorite songs, just go ahead let your hair down...
In general, when you're ready to move on to the next section, swipe up.
Two truths and a lie
Tap the statement that you think is false.
Your Score: 0/0
Values & Philosophy
If you’ve made it this far, the rest should tell if we can be picture on my lock screen / know where the bodies are buried / Canon in D Major / slow dancing in the kitchen to the theme song from Up compatible.
Think of this like the "Food / Diet" section for my beliefs. You don't have to eat what I eat, but you will have to watch me eat it.
Health and Wellness
A body not a temple. Temples are solid structures that need a little sweeping out every now and then.
A body is a particularly finicky houseplant, or a tamagotchi with 100 unlabeled buttons. It needs healthy food, and the right amount of sunshine, water, and exercise. Getting right in your body is the foundation for every other aspect of life.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
We can never predict the future, so if you make a decision--especially a big life decision--because of the anticipated outcome, then you open up the possibility for regret. However, if you're proud of the reason you make a decision, then you will never regret it, regardless of what happens.
Doing vs Dreaming
My good friend and workout buddy (Justin in the testimonials) had a moment of Deep Wisdom when he quipped: "Don't talk to me about the abs that you want, show me the abs that you've got."
I think about this often, in a variety of contexts.
Clean Up Little Messes
Most problems in life are like the crud that sticks to the pan after cooking: they clean right up if you address them immediately. Ignore a mess and it calcifies to the pan. You might give it a good scrub the next day and think that it's okay, but there’s always still a bit stuck on there. Every time you cook, your new food ends up sticking to the old crud that's stuck there. This continues and gradually adds layer on layer until one day you look at this crud covered pan, and think: "How did this happen‽ This isn't the pan I fell in love with; a good pan wouldn't crud up so much. Maybe there's a better pan out there; one with more crud resistance...
Experience vs Expression
The breath of human experience is much narrower than that of human expression. In short, we all pretty much feel the same thing, just in very different contexts.
Immortality Would Be Great
If a pill existed that would halt aging, I would take it in a heartbeat. I would do this even if everyone else still got old and died. I make many lifestyle choices based on longevity, hoping that this pill is discovered in my lifetime.
However, I know that my body (which is my entire existence and not a fancy soul-jar) will probably wear down and eventually stop doing anything. So I'm not about to spend my one life sitting around in a padded room trying to not die.
Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me
We are each the hero of our own lives, and ultimate responsibility for the outcomes in our lives rest with us. Our knowledge, our skills, our decisions, and the peope we choose to trust. If our decisions go awry the only think we can reliably change is ourselves.
I grew up Catholic. While I am no longer religeous, there are a few parts I keep. One is the Serenity Prayer, at least the first bit:
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
There are some extended versions that go wayyy off the rails. I'd finish it thusly:...and may I possess the clarity and determination to move as many things from the former category to the latter.
The Two Worlds
The first world is Human World. This is the world of justice, morality and rightness. Where people fight about who owns what, what is good, and what is evil. This is the world of meanings and definitions. Where appearance and perception matter more than results.
The second world is the Natural World, which has been around long before humans existed and will remain when we are gone. This is the world where an iceberg will sink an unsinkable ship, no matter how good the marketing campaign is, and no matter how much the designers, architects, and engineers believe the ship is unsinkable.
We are lucky to spend most of our time in the Human World, which is much more forgiving. To make your way in the Human World, you can beg, you can plead, you can charm, petition, politic, and come up with clever arguments. You can solve problems with a bar of chocolate and a back massage.
In the Natural World, you have to be correct. An incorrectly assembled deck chair from Ikea will collapse, no matter how much you scream “I followed the instructions exactly!”
If it turns out that the instructions actually were incorrect, then your satisfaction at being right doesn not leave you with a usable deck chair.
I do not discount Human World skills. But I do think it is important to know the difference, and to not use Human World methods on Natural World problems.
Otherwise, we spend all day arguing over definitions, saying things like: “What does 'reality' even mean?”, and yelling at broken deck chairs.
Cosmic Self Awareness
Humans are particularly clever apes with an innate need to find identity and then convince ourselves (and others) that our identity means something.
Really, the world as we know it a sandcastle built on a bunch of logs that were tied together and set adrift in the ocean of the universe. Any metaphorical wave of decent size would wipe us all out, and we've has only progressed this far because the water has been unusually calm for the past 10,000 years.
The universe can't care about us, but we can care about eachother. So, it's important for us to surround ourselves with people worth caring about.
These are my expectations for a potential life partner.
Don't @ me.
Since 2020, I have been living the detox life. That means regular tests, giving up many of my favorite foods, taking handfuls of supplements, calling ahead to restaurants, practicing screen discipline, reading labels on everything, saunas, and occasionally sticking things up my butt.
I made these sacrifices and structured my life around getting and staying healthy for both my own happiness, but also so I will have the vitality to support my future partner and kids.
As my partner, I expect you to do the same.
If you take the lead on planning an organic non-toxic homestead so our children will grow up to be super intelligent athletes, I will make sure it happens and you never want for anything.
If you earn more money than me, then I will taking on that project myself.
I am 💯 here to provide support during challenging periods and moments of existential angst. However, if you view anxiety and depression as ingrained elements of your existence then you are not the right partner for me.
One of me great pleasures is seeing the people I love succeed. If we are dating, I will want you to succeed. I am an excellent cheerleader / brainstorming partner / sidekick, but you need to have a drive to improve yourself.
I expect you to have passions, preferences, and opinions. But also be nice. Don’t talk shit. Build people up instead of putting them down.
Be taking care of your basic life needs. Have no addictions or unmanaged consumer debt (ie. unpaid credit card debt).
Be family oriented
Be ready in your life to focus on building a manogamous relationship and family. You don't have to give up your career or favorite hobby, but our relationship / family should be the priority.
Is this for real?
You're a real person. This isn't some sort of social exeperiment?
Yes, I am a real person. I am really trying to meet my match.
Isn't this a little excessive?
Are the shirts for real?
What does *that* mean?
The merch section started as a joke, but I have been asked to printed several copies.
Wait. Are there actually people wearing 'Date John Teasdale' shirts?
How do I get one?
Are you a serial killer?
That is exactly what a serial killer would say.
A serial killer would say:
I’m a 6’3” ex-D1 athlete who made money in real estate and is now semi-retired, spending my time writing poetry and training Labrador Retriever puppies to be service dogs at my farm way out in the country.
Why have you thought so much about what a serial killer would say?
Why have you not thought about it enough!
I found a spelling / grammer mistake.
Thank you, I will fix it. Did that mistake make something I wrote unclear?
No, I still understood what you meant
I appreciate your instinct to help, but if you read all this and your first instinct was to nitpick presentation instead of engaging with me as a person, then we are not a good match.
Yes, and it bothers me.
Same response as above. I play fast and loose with language and .
Yes, and I would like to know what you really meant.
Introduce yourself and ask.
Did you have to do all this just to get dates?
Counterintuitivly, I did all of this to get LESS dates.
I wish every guy would do this.
Can I assume this means that you like the forthrightness, but are not interested in me?
Share this website far and wide. Send it to your friends, put in on your socials, include the text "I wish every guy would do this". Maybe your dream man just needs the hint 😉.
Woooah there, sexy boy, I didn't mean that
Send me a message.
I would love to have a site of my own.
Start with a google doc. Knowing yourself enough to write the content is the hard part.
You didn't use ChatGPT?!?!
Not even a little bit?
Not even a little.
Come on, I can keep a secret. Now that it's just us here... tell me the truth.
This site is all me. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm not ready to turn the expresson of my soul's inner workings over to the machines just yet.
What I meant was... will you make me a website?
Make an offer and I’ll think about it. Maybe I'll put it up at https://datejohnteasdale.com/or/your-name-here.
However, I think it will be better if you find a way to showcase your own skills.
Has the website been successful?
I am still single, so by the most important measure it has been 0% successful.
However, since creating the website I have been on better dates than before the website. So, it's just a matter of time.
We’re not a match, but I find you fascinating. Can we talk anyways?
Do you live in Bali (close to Canggu or Gili T)?
Reach out! We can work something out.
Unless you’re a podcaster or have some other platform that can expand the reach of the site, I’d only video call with people who are romantically interested in me.
But I know so many people who would be perfect for you!
Well then! Allow me to introduce you to the:Date John Teasdale Affiliate Program!
Will you be on my podcast?
Just like that? No conditions?
If it helps more people find the sire, I would be on a show called 'I hate the way you work it: No Dignity'.
We are pretty much the same person! I think we could be a match!
Are you a person who loves charts and data, or did you connect with the content?
I'm sorry to say that you that you're responding to the medium instead of the message.
I included the charts to be whimsically excessive, and create surprise... not to efficiently present data.
I hope you find someone to run your weekly relationship status meetings with.
The content! I have so many questions!
Perfect! Send me a message!
I think men should make the the first move
What are your interests? Who you be with? What makes you smile? What numbers to dial? Will you be here for a while? I could call my crew, you can call your crew, and we can rendevous in Canggu around 2.
That's not what I meant
Canggu is a small town. If I see you and I'm interested, I will come talk to you.
I don't live in Bali
This is too good to be true.
So, you read through everything, clicked all the FAQs, and your main thought was:
This highly opinionated, slightly neurotic, potentially autistic man is so damn sexy that he must have been cunningly crafted as a ploy to build a harem that rivals that of the last Emperor of Constantinople.
Congratulations we are actually compatable. All that's left is for us to sniff eachothers' butts and see if our pheremones do their good work.